She replied “sure” and I nearly canceled dinner

Pretending I hadn’t noticed was definitely on the shortlist.

Right below canceling a dinner I wanted to attend, with a person I wanted to see, because she had agreed to come.

I’m leaving the reservation alone.

I’m glad you sent it.

I was going to suggest pretending you hadn’t noticed anything, because that’s what I usually do. Reading this back, I’m not sure that’s ever got me the evening I actually wanted.

No. Put the phone down.

I sent: “Good. I miss your face. Can we pick somewhere we can sit for ages?”

She said: “YES. Sorry, was in the school office. Will explain Friday.”

So now I have a new thing to speculate about.

In your own words, though. If my friend suddenly sent me a beautifully structured paragraph about our connection, I’d assume she was about to ask me to join a business opportunity.

Oh. Two cancellations would bother me too, even if I understood why.

Could you tell her you’ve missed her? You don’t have to bring the word “sure” into it.

She canceled the last two times.

One was a sick kid. The other was work, and I believe her. I just miss her, honestly.

I think I was hoping she’d sound like she missed me too.

Although—has your friend actually been distant lately? Sometimes there’s a reason a small thing bothers us.

Please don’t make everyone add three exclamation marks to confirm they still love us.

My boss has started writing “Thanks!” and now I’m suspicious of those too.

I understand wanting that. But from her side, she might think she’s agreed to dinner and the conversation is finished.

I’m a “sure” person when I’m busy. This conversation is making me reconsider several friendships I thought were going well.

The second one, probably.

I want her to say, “Obviously I want to see you, you idiot.”

But without me having to ask for that. Asking makes it feel less convincing.

Their ability to climb things might be.

Have you actually decided you’re canceling, or are you hoping she’ll notice you’re about to cancel and become more enthusiastic?

Asking because I have performed that little piece of community theater.

Two. But she’s had them for a while. They’re not a recent development.

Before we investigate the friendship, does she have children?

My sister’s messages got noticeably less affectionate when her youngest learned how to climb the refrigerator.

Alex, I love that you left the reservation alone — that was honestly the bravest move in this whole story. And that line about wanting her to say "Obviously I want to see you, you idiot" without you having to ask? That's the most honest sentence about friendship I've read in a while. Two canceled plans would make me twitchy too, even when the reasons are totally believable. I hope Friday is lovely — will you come back and tell us how it went?