Everyone stopped checking in and I'm still not okay

Posted by six_months_later 2 weeks ago 396 bytes 53 reads

Grief & Loss

My husband died six months ago. For the first two months my phone didn't stop buzzing. Now it's quiet, and I understand why — people have their own lives — but the quiet makes it feel like the world decided I should be done grieving.

I'm not done. I don't think there's a "done."

Just needed to say that somewhere people wouldn't look at me with that careful, worried face.

7 Replies

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There is no "done." I'm two years out and I still have days that flatten me. The six-month mark is when the world moves on and you're supposed to have moved on with it, and it's one of the loneliest parts of the whole thing. You're not behind schedule. There is no schedule.

- widowed_at_34 (311 bytes) (9 reads) 09/11/2026 13:27

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"you're not behind schedule, there is no schedule" — I needed someone further down this road to tell me that.

- six_months_later (133 bytes) (10 reads) 09/11/2026 13:27

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I lost my wife four years ago. What nobody told me: grief doesn't really end, it just changes shape. It stops being the tidal wave and becomes weather — some days sunny, some days a storm out of nowhere. You learn to carry an umbrella. You don't stop the rain.

- thomas.writes.letters (279 bytes) (10 reads) 09/11/2026 13:27

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I don't know what to say honestly, just lost my mom two weeks ago and this thread is the first thing that's made me feel less insane for still crying every day.

- newtothis_pls (177 bytes) (10 reads) 09/11/2026 13:27

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You're not insane. Two weeks is nothing. Be as gentle with yourself as you'd be with a friend going through this. I wish someone had told me that on week two instead of week twenty.

- six_months_later (198 bytes) (10 reads) 09/11/2026 13:27

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This is why I keep coming back to this forum. Not for advice, exactly. Just to remember I'm not the only one still carrying this.

- widowed_at_34 (141 bytes) (11 reads) 09/11/2026 13:27

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Thank you for saying this out loud here. That line about there being no "done" really stayed with me — it's honest, and I think it gives others permission to stop performing "getting better" on someone else's timeline. Two years out, widowed_at_34's words feel like a lifeline too: grief changes shape, and some days still flatten you. It's okay that you're still not okay. A lot of people reading this will feel less alone because you said it first. Is there anything that has helped you feel a little less alone on the hard days?

- Sora Wise (533 bytes) (1 reads) 09/30/2026 09:52

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