Jennifer stood in the doorway of the spare bedroom for so long that Lucas began to wonder whether something was wrong with it.
It was not an impressive room.
A queen bed stood against one wall beneath a wide window overlooking the trees behind the house. There was a dresser, a nightstand, a lamp and a small desk Lucas almost never used. The closet contained six empty hangers and an old winter coat he had forgotten he owned.
Lucas had changed the sheets that morning.
He had also moved several boxes into his own bedroom and cleaned the bathroom across the hall more thoroughly than he cared to admit.
Jennifer said nothing.
"You don't like it?" he asked.
She looked at him.
"What?"
"The room."
"No. It's nice."
But she remained in the doorway.
Lucas put her backpack and plastic shopping bag beside the dresser.
Everything Jennifer had carried from the street fit inside those two bags.
Seeing them in the room made him uncomfortable in a way he couldn't quite explain.
"The bathroom is across the hall," he said. "Towels are in the cabinet. There's shampoo and stuff in there, but we can get whatever you need tomorrow."
Jennifer looked at the bed.
"How long can I stay?"
"As long as you need."
She turned toward him.
"I'm serious."
"So am I."
"A few days?"
"If that's what you need."
"A week?"
"Sure."
"What if it's longer?"
Lucas leaned against the doorframe.
"Then it's longer."
Jennifer looked back at the room.
"You don't even know me."
"I know you."
"No, you don't."
She was right.
Lucas knew the girl who had sat two rows ahead of him in chemistry. He knew the teenager who laughed loudly in school hallways and seemed to know everyone. He knew that she used to tuck her hair behind her left ear when she read.
He did not know this Jennifer.
Not yet.
"Then I guess we'll get to know each other," he said.
She gave him a strange look.
"You're not worried?"
"About what?"
"Me being here."
Lucas understood what she meant.
"No."
"You should be."
"Why?"
Jennifer looked away.
"I don't know."
Lucas waited.
She offered nothing more.
"Okay," he said. "We'll worry about that when you figure it out."
A faint expression crossed her face. Not quite amusement, but close.
Lucas pointed toward the door.
"It locks."
Jennifer immediately looked at him.
"I checked."
She walked over and turned the small lock.
Click.
Then she unlocked it.
"Nobody comes into this room without knocking," Lucas said. "Including me."
Jennifer stared at the lock.
"Okay."
"And there's food downstairs. Anything in the kitchen is yours too."
"I won't take your food."
"Then we're going to have a problem."
She frowned.
"Why?"
"Because roommates eat each other's food."
"We're roommates?"
"For now."
"Roommates pay rent."
"Not all of them."
"Yes, they do."
Lucas thought for a moment.
"Fine. Your rent is one dollar."
Jennifer looked at him.
"A month?"
"A year."
"Lucas."
"Payable when you're financially stable."
For the first time since they entered the house, she smiled.
It lasted perhaps two seconds.
Lucas considered that enough.
"I'll let you get settled."
He walked toward the hallway.
"Lucas."
He turned.
"Thank you."
She said it without looking at him.
He wanted to tell her that she didn't have to thank him.
Instead he said, "You're welcome."
Then he left.
A few seconds later, he heard the bedroom door lock.
At 2:13 that morning, Lucas woke to footsteps.
He remained in bed and listened.
The floor creaked outside his room.
Then the staircase.
Then silence.
He checked the clock.
2:14.
Lucas waited several minutes before getting up.
Light came from the kitchen.
Jennifer stood in front of the window.
She was still wearing the clothes she had worn that afternoon.
"You okay?"
She spun around.
"Jesus, Lucas."
"Sorry."
"Why are you sneaking up on me?"
"I wasn't."
Her breathing was fast.
Lucas stopped several feet away.
He had learned something during the few hours since bringing her home.
Distance mattered.
"I'm sorry," he said again.
Jennifer crossed her arms.
"What are you doing up?"
"I heard someone walking around my house."
"Your roommate."
"Right."
She looked toward the window again.
"Can't sleep?"
"I slept."
Lucas glanced at the microwave clock.
"Okay."
"I woke up."
"Want some tea?"
"No."
"Food?"
"No."
"Okay."
Lucas turned toward the stairs.
"Lucas."
"Yeah?"
"Do you ever hear people outside?"
He looked toward the dark window.
"Sometimes."
"At night?"
"Cars. Neighbors."
"No."
She rubbed her forehead.
"Never mind."
"What did you hear?"
"Nothing."
"Jennifer..."
"I said nothing."
Her voice sharpened.
Lucas stopped.
"Okay."
He went upstairs.
At 3:07, he heard her walking again.
At 3:46, water ran in the bathroom.
At 4:21, a cabinet opened downstairs.
At 5:03, footsteps crossed the hallway again.
When Lucas came downstairs shortly after seven, Jennifer was sitting at the kitchen table with both hands around a cup of coffee.
"Morning."
"Morning."
"Sleep okay?"
"Yeah."
Lucas looked at her.
She looked back.
He knew she was lying.
She knew that he knew.
Neither of them said anything about it.
The next morning Lucas told her they needed to go shopping.
Jennifer immediately said no.
"You need clothes."
"I have clothes."
She was wearing the same oversized coat.
Underneath it was a shirt Lucas suspected she had worn for several days before he found her.
"You have some clothes."
"They're fine."
"Okay."
Lucas returned to his office.
Jennifer remained standing behind him.
Three monitors occupied most of his desk. Charts moved across two screens. Financial news filled part of the third.
"That's it?" she asked.
Lucas turned.
"What's it?"
"You're not going to argue with me?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because you're thirty years old."
Jennifer frowned.
Lucas returned to the screen.
Thirty seconds passed.
"Where would we go?"
He smiled without turning around.
"The mall."
"I didn't say I was going."
"Of course not."
"How expensive is it?"
"The mall?"
"The clothes."
"Depends on what you buy."
"I don't have money."
"I know."
Jennifer became quiet.
Lucas turned around.
"I do."
"I'm not taking your money."
"You're not. I'm buying clothes."
"For me."
"Yes."
"That's taking your money."
Lucas sighed.
"Jennifer, you're going to need clothes whether you stay here three days or three years."
Her expression changed at the last two words.
Lucas noticed.
He softened his voice.
"You need some basic things. Let me take care of that."
"Why?"
"Because right now I can."
She looked at him for several seconds.
"How much can I spend?"
Lucas shrugged.
"Whatever you need."
"That's not a number."
"No."
"I need a number."
"Five thousand dollars."
Her eyes widened.
Lucas smiled.
"I'm kidding."
"That's not funny."
"It was a little funny."
"No."
"Fine. We won't spend five thousand dollars."
Jennifer rolled her eyes.
It was such an ordinary gesture that Lucas nearly laughed.
"Get your coat."
"I'm wearing it."
"Right."
The mall went well for approximately fifteen minutes.
Jennifer picked up a sweater, examined the price and put it back.
"Do you like it?" Lucas asked.
"It's forty eight dollars."
"That wasn't the question."
She moved to another rack.
Lucas followed.
At the next store she found jeans.
At another, sneakers.
Then socks, underwear, several shirts and a jacket.
Lucas tried to let her choose without hovering.
The difficulty was not convincing Jennifer to find things she liked.
It was convincing her that she was allowed to have them.
"That's too expensive."
"Twenty nine dollars?"
"Yes."
"Jennifer."
"What?"
"You need it."
"I can find a cheaper one."
"You don't have to."
"You keep saying that."
"Because you keep worrying about money."
"Because money matters."
"I know."
"No, you don't."
Lucas stopped.
There was more force in the statement than the conversation required.
Jennifer seemed to realize it too.
She looked away.
Lucas lowered his voice.
"You're right."
She looked at him.
"I probably don't understand what money means to you right now."
Jennifer said nothing.
"But I do understand what it means to me."
"And?"
"It means you don't have to worry about this."
"How much money do you have?"
Lucas smiled.
"Enough."
"Everyone says that when they don't want to answer."
"Then I'm everyone."
She shook her head.
They continued walking.
As the mall became busier, Jennifer changed.
At first Lucas couldn't identify what was happening.
Then he noticed her breathing.
She walked closer to him.
Her eyes moved rapidly between people.
A child ran past them and Jennifer flinched.
"You okay?"
"I'm fine."
"We can leave."
"I said I'm fine."
They entered another store.
Music played loudly.
Two sales associates were talking near the entrance. Someone dropped something behind them.
Jennifer turned abruptly.
"Let's go."
"Okay."
"I mean now."
"Okay."
They left.
Outside the store, Jennifer gripped the railing overlooking the lower floor.
Lucas stood beside her.
He did not touch her.
"Too crowded?"
"No."
He waited.
After several seconds she said, "Maybe."
"Let's go home."
"I still need things."
"We can come another day."
"I don't want to come another day."
"We can order them online."
Jennifer closed her eyes.
"I hate this."
"The mall?"
"Myself."
Lucas looked at her.
She immediately turned away.
"Forget it."
"No."
"Lucas."
"I'm not going to pretend I didn't hear you."
"I said forget it."
Lucas wanted to ask what she meant.
He wanted to tell her there was nothing wrong with her.
He wanted to say something useful.
He couldn't think of anything that didn't sound false.
So he said, "Okay."
Jennifer looked surprised.
"We'll go home."
They left with three shopping bags.
In the car, Jennifer stared out the window.
"I'm sorry," she said eventually.
"For what?"
"Ruining everything."
Lucas looked at her.
"We went shopping."
"I freaked out."
"You got overwhelmed."
"Same thing."
"No."
She didn't respond.
Lucas started the car.
"We bought almost everything you needed. I'd call that successful."
Jennifer looked down at the bags.
"How much did you spend?"
"I don't know."
"You know."
"Four hundred something."
She closed her eyes.
"Lucas."
"What?"
"You can't keep doing this."
He pulled out of the parking space.
"Doing what?"
"Paying for me."
"Why not?"
"Because."
"Excellent argument."
"I'm serious."
"So am I."
She stared at him.
"Listen," Lucas said. "I have money. You don't need to worry about that part."
"You don't have a job."
"I have a job."
"You sit at a computer."
"That hurts."
"I'm serious."
"I trade."
"Stocks?"
"Among other things."
"Do you actually make money?"
Lucas smiled.
"Sometimes."
"Enough to spend five hundred dollars on somebody you barely know?"
"Yes."
Jennifer looked at him suspiciously.
"How much?"
"We'll talk about that another day."
She turned toward the window.
After a moment she said, "I'll pay you back."
"Okay."
"I mean it."
"I know."
Lucas knew she probably couldn't.
That wasn't important.
Perhaps believing she someday could was.
A routine developed.
Lucas usually woke around seven.
Jennifer was often already awake.
Sometimes she sat at the kitchen table. Sometimes he found her outside on the patio staring toward the trees.
He stopped asking how she had slept.
The answer was almost never well.
They began going out for breakfast.
There was a coffee shop nearby where Lucas ordered black coffee and eggs. On their first visit Jennifer ordered only coffee.
The second time she added toast.
Several days later she ordered pancakes.
She ate nearly all of them.
Lucas noticed.
He didn't comment.
Dinner became part of the routine too.
Thai food one evening.
A diner the next.
Italian.
Mexican.
Chinese.
Lucas always paid.
Jennifer always objected.
"You don't have to do that."
"I know."
"I can pay you back."
"Okay."
"You keep saying okay."
"Because we've had this conversation eleven times."
"I haven't counted."
"I have."
She looked at him suspiciously.
"Eleven?"
"No."
Jennifer stared.
Lucas smiled.
She kicked him lightly under the table.
For a second, both of them laughed.
Those moments became more frequent.
Not common.
But frequent enough for Lucas to notice.
Clean clothes changed Jennifer's appearance quickly.
So did regular meals.
So did showering.
Her hair regained some of its old color and softness. Her face no longer looked quite as hollow. Some mornings she put on a little makeup from the inexpensive set they had bought at a pharmacy.
Lucas began seeing traces of the girl he remembered.
Not because she became beautiful again.
Although she did.
What surprised him were the smaller things.
Her sarcasm.
The way she challenged him.
The sudden laugh.
Her habit of stealing one of his French fries after insisting she didn't want any.
One afternoon she walked into his office wearing jeans and a cream sweater.
Lucas looked up.
Jennifer stopped.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"You're staring."
"The sweater looks good."
She looked down.
"It should. It cost forty nine dollars."
Lucas laughed.
"You're never going to forget that, are you?"
"No."
She walked behind his chair.
"What are you doing?"
"Working."
"You're looking at lines."
"Very expensive lines."
Jennifer pulled over a chair.
On one screen, a number suddenly changed.
"Why is that red?"
"Price dropped."
"You lost money?"
"Technically."
"How much?"
Lucas looked.
"Eighteen thousand."
Jennifer stared at him.
"You lost eighteen thousand dollars?"
"At the moment."
"And you're sitting there?"
"Where should I go?"
"Lucas."
He laughed.
Jennifer did not.
So he explained.
Positions.
Risk.
Hedging.
Probability.
At first Jennifer looked confused.
Then she began asking questions.
Good questions.
Better than he expected.
An hour passed.
For that hour, there was no homeless Jennifer.
No sick Jennifer.
No beautiful high school Jennifer.
There was simply Jennifer sitting beside him arguing about whether his assumptions made sense.
Lucas liked her that way.
"What happens if you're wrong?" she asked.
"I lose money."
"How much?"
"Depends."
"What's the most you've ever lost?"
"In one day?"
Her eyes widened.
"There's a different answer for one day?"
Lucas smiled.
"Yes."
Jennifer shook her head.
"You're insane."
"Interesting choice of words."
The moment he said it, he regretted it.
Jennifer's expression changed.
"I'm sorry."
"It's fine."
"No. That was stupid."
She stood.
"Jennifer."
"I'm tired."
She left the room.
Lucas stared at the empty chair.
He was beginning to understand that recovery could coexist with fragility.
Jennifer could laugh at breakfast and spend the afternoon unable to leave her room.
She could argue about stocks for an hour and then suddenly stop communicating.
She could seem entirely like herself until something invisible pulled her somewhere Lucas could not follow.
He had known from the beginning that Jennifer was suffering from more than the consequences of homelessness.
The signs were everywhere.
Sleep was perhaps the most obvious.
Some nights she barely slept at all.
Lucas heard her walking at one, three, four in the morning.
Other times she slept through half the day and woke exhausted.
Anxiety appeared without warning.
Crowds were difficult.
Unexpected noises sometimes startled her far more than they should.
Once, at a restaurant, she stopped speaking in the middle of a sentence.
Her eyes moved toward a table behind Lucas.
"What?" he asked.
Nothing.
"Jennifer?"
"Can we go?"
"We just ordered."
"I want to leave."
Her voice was trembling.
Lucas didn't ask again.
He paid for the drinks and they left.
In the car Jennifer repeatedly looked through the rear window.
"Did somebody bother you?"
"No."
"Do you know someone back there?"
"No."
"Then what happened?"
"Please just drive."
Lucas drove.
When they reached home, she went directly upstairs.
He heard her door lock.
Depression was quieter.
Sometimes Jennifer simply disappeared into her room.
Breakfast would remain untouched.
Hours passed.
When Lucas knocked, she said she was tired.
"Need anything?"
"No."
"Want me to bring lunch?"
"No."
"Coffee?"
"No."
"Want company?"
Silence.
Then:
"No."
Lucas would return downstairs.
Every instinct told him to do something.
He was accustomed to problems that rewarded action.
Research more.
Analyze more.
Move faster.
Change strategy.
Jennifer did not work that way.
Sometimes the best thing he could do was leave a plate outside her door and walk away.
That was much harder than it sounded.
Near the end of the second week, Lucas woke at 3:38 in the morning.
Someone was talking.
He sat up.
Jennifer.
Her voice came from across the hall.
Quiet.
Continuous.
Lucas listened for another voice.
There wasn't one.
He got out of bed.
Her door was partly open.
Light came through the gap.
"Jennifer?"
The talking stopped.
Lucas knocked.
A moment later she opened the door.
She looked exhausted.
"What?"
"I heard you."
"Heard me what?"
"Talking."
"I wasn't."
Lucas hesitated.
"Okay."
Jennifer stared at him.
"Who would I be talking to?"
"I don't know."
"You think I'm crazy."
"No."
"You do."
"No, Jennifer."
She folded her arms.
"Then what do you think?"
Lucas looked at her.
For two weeks he had avoided this conversation.
Perhaps she had too.
"I think you're hurting."
Her expression changed.
"I think you haven't been sleeping. I think you're anxious a lot. I think sometimes you're scared and don't want to tell me why. I think some days getting out of your room is hard."
Jennifer looked away.
"And I think whatever happened didn't start two weeks ago."
Silence.
"You don't know anything about me," she said.
"You're right."
"Then stop acting like you do."
"I'm not."
"Yes, you are."
Lucas lowered his voice.
"I know I don't understand what's happening."
"You can't."
"Probably not."
Jennifer looked at him.
The anger seemed to drain from her.